Wednesday, June 28, 2006

"How do I say goodbye to what we had... The good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad" - Boyz 2 Men

Life is simply a delicate occurrence.

You’ll realize that when you just sit back and gather your thoughts to yourself. Let not, the smoke from the incense, cloud your mind. As the bunch of guys from way back in secondary school were chatting casually, though not as casual as it used to be.

An aura of solemnity engulfed our surroundings as the gathering of friends, were brought about by the death of another. We didn’t hang out much, neither did we talk often, but Charm was always seen in school, chilling out with the clique of girls and around my neighborhood as well. I often come to wonder why she wasn’t seen around in these past few months. Death, it seems, respects no individual.

Everyone seemed to bear emotional strength at the wake, I noticed as I approached her to give my last respects. A picture came into view as Charm’s smile was evident on the portrait hung above her coffin and with no signs of her battling for life; she laid there in serenity.

Life is simply a delicate occurrence.

"How do I say goodbye to what we had... The good times that made us laugh outweigh the bad" - Boyz 2 Men

In memory of “Charm” – 1983 - 2006

Friday, June 23, 2006

"Oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won..." - Jet

Life’s not all humdrum. And with all its ups and downs, every little thing, every little detail makes life worth living. Have a look at the rundown of this year’s World Cup

The “Waltzing Matildas” are through to the next round where they’ll face the “Pasta-eating, Pizza-tossing” Italians.

And the English and Germans got what they wanted- not facing each other.
The “Three-Lions” will take on the boys from Ecuador and the Hosts will cope with the Swedes.

Juan Roman Riquelme will guide Argentina against the Mexican Jalapenos in Leipzig.
Luis Figo will have to “Go- Dutch” when his young Portuguese side issues a strong challenge against the Netherlands. Masterminded by one of the best strikers in the 1990’s- A Dutch Master himself, Marco van Basten.

And there’s Ghana. This African nation was underestimated from the very beginning of the Finals and they silenced their critics by advancing to the 2nd round. There, they’ll have to confront their nightmare- the Footballing “Gods” from Brazil


"Oh well, it seems like such fun until you lose what you had won..." – Jet

I was walking down the same path that led to Fort Ed. It’s splendor and all its grandeur still overawed me till this day and how the Duke of Evil, Ed, took away my most beloved.

Standing, once again, at the gates of Fort Ed, I peered into the steel bars. It’s people were wealthy and were of a certain class. The way they behaved, the way they talked- it all seemed different. I just can’t quite put a finger on it.

After pondering for a while, then, it hit me- the people weren’t happy. They were not smiling as that of my people in my kingdom. Foundations to the Kingdom of Will have been erected. Everyone chipped in, even I did. For once, there was no Monarchy in a Kingdom… There was equality. From children to men, laborers to merchants and vagabonds to kings, we worked as one to reform and restructure the foundations to the Kingdom of Will.

Duke Ed was standing at the highest balcony and looking down at his people and giving his usual speech, “…so allow me to present to you, my new wife…”
The expected muffled mumblings from the townsfolk ensued and even I was astounded. My mind began to cloud in confusion, “ That’s quick, it’s only been a few months…”

A lady clad in white strolled into view. The sparkles from the precious stones could be distinguished from miles away. When I eventually made out that silhouette, I was flabbergasted- it wasn’t who I thought it was.

“Queen Cassopeia… she’ll rule beside me and govern all domestic affairs…” Ed declared to the townsfolk gathered below, “… go forth… and spread the word on Queen Cass…”

“Then where on the living plane is thy former queen?” uncertainties, fears and worries shrouded my thoughts, “I have to look for her…”

My attention was drawn to one wall with what seems to be a notice: “…Jeania is banished from Fort Ed…” This was getting insane. Loving one moment, tossed away like a used doll the next. Rumors had said that Jeania is living in the woods amongst the bears, yet, still treated like royalty.

Once a Queen, still is, and always will be.
I head home to continue on the restoration of the Kingdom of Will.

Go Figure

Friday, June 16, 2006

"Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love I'll give you all I got to give... if you say you love me..." - The Beatles

How could one ever consider him/herself as being overrated or under valued?
My boss could be reading this for all I know, but, what the heck…
Doing sales with no commission should permit me to stipulate a significantly high reimbursement in my employment contractual terms. Then again, I was too in need of a job, and too raw in the industry to be asking for anything. Consequently, I accepted the vacancy without deliberation.

My immediate superior, Mr. JW, is a nice person. He’s been patient with me and advising me about stuff. Nonetheless, the situation has adversely changed. The supervisor of the other department(s) has been giving him a tough time about me.

The benefits of the company are unfavorable. I believe many of my colleagues there are capable of all the work they’re handling, and this includes JW as well. But, the thing I’m unable to comprehend is, what made them stay in the company?

JW insist that he has plans for me and I’ll stay to see it materialize.
But I can’t stay for long if things don’t occur.

Let’s post my immediate and long term plans here.

Year 2006 (Age: 23)
Current Gross Income: SGD1400
Increment after probation phase: SGD1700 (hopefully)
But if it’s only 100 bucks, hey guess what? I exit the front door of the office.
I’ve met my friend, by coincidence, at another company doing the exact same thing. He’s, however, getting a gross wage and allowance of SGD1900. What gives?

Year 2007 (Age: 24) – Estimated Gross Income: SGD2000
Year 2008 (Age: 25) – Estimated Gross Income: SGD2500

This is the tentative short term plan.
Hopefully I’ll be able to earn SDG3k before I turn 26.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

"What pains me more , are her kisses to he." - Will

I recollected my thoughts and began to write again.
Mellowed the words and toned the melody down.
She ain't with that pedophile no more, so i guess its ok to post my lyrics here.
These lyrics can be used, but please accredit them to me
or I'll just sue your ass off.
-Lucifer-

The heavens burst and realised it's missin' an angel inside
Lured away by the Evil Lord,
she ain't in a right mind to see.

"Thy Love Him, More Than Thee"
What pains me more , are her kisses to he.

Swinging punches at the air,
No need to worry, no need to ask
No one seems to know me,
Behind this crimson mask.

Like a battle, fought like a thousand wars
In a cell with no windows nor doors.
In captivity I'll be,
In the end, loser will be me.

In self pity, wallow I must not
Forgive and forget, I can not
Their life is now just pedophile porn.
Shit happens, I rallied myself, life still goes on.

Friday, June 09, 2006

"I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go..." - 3 Doors Down

Sometimes when you see people walking through life, you find them being extremely aloof. They move on from one phase to another with a great deal of ease. Dodging, bending and even breaking the laws of nature, it’s just so intimidating, so scary.

Maybe that person is just searching. Looking for things that are non-existent.
Maybe that’s life… It is just that… Non-existent.

And conceivably, life IS overrated. More often than not, I don’t know what it means anymore. Like a kaleidoscope, life is broken into fragments and then re-merged, almost instantaneously. It forces you to be in a situation where you have to make friends, fall in love then those bonds are broken and again, you’re compelled to form new ones.

"I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go..." - 3 Doors Down

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either
way to say hello

I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets
better as we go


I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love

And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl it’s only you and me

Monday, June 05, 2006

"像不知不觉游向海天.. 到最深的地方.. 才发现你早已经.. 放弃我.." - 陶喆

How could you be certain that you’ve forgotten about someone?
The memoirs have all been banished into the depths of your mind, never to be unleashed again. When on one fateful day, you awake to thoughts that brought back reminiscences of the past, would that mean that the other was already forgotten?

I believe so.

"像不知不觉游向海天.. 到最深的地方.. 才发现你早已经.. 放弃我.." - 陶喆

One of the many splendors of life and the pivot between “Love” and “Hate”, “Missing” someone is a very poignant show of emotion.
The lack of understanding from some, “Missing” would tend to be misread/ misinterpreted as “Love” or “to still be in Love”.

Ever since that fateful day, I tried to meet new people, make new friends. Yet, after reading through this Blog, they insist that I still love her. Well, clarification is necessary.

I love her.
Correction, I loved her.
I loved her innocent smile.
I loved her witty charm.
I loved her burning desire to win.
I loved her, being herself.
I loved her.

She has grown, evolved if you will, into a woman.
No longer the innocent girl, whose eyes are filled with love and dreams,
Now, a woman in her own right, she is oozing with confidence in abundance.

She is a part of my history and I’ll remember her for that.
She has a life to lead now.

Go forth.
Take care